“Natural” Doesn’t Mean Easy: The Truth About Breastfeeding

“Breast is best!

“Breastfeeding is natural.”

"Breast milk is the best medicine for babies."

You’ve probably heard at least one of these during your pregnancy, if not more of them. But people always seem to forget the rest of the story, like the fact that “natural” can also mean messy, uncomfortable, confusing, and sometimes downright painful.

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering why something “so natural” feels anything but, you’re in the right place. Breastfeeding may be instinctual for babies, but it’s also a skill that takes practice, patience, and support.

The Myth of “Natural”

Let’s get one thing straight: breastfeeding might be natural, but it’s also something you have to learn. Just like walking or talking, it takes time, guidance, and trial and error. But when you’re already tired, sore, and flooded with postpartum hormones, that learning curve can feel really steep.

Here’s what many new parents don’t expect:

• Your baby may not latch easily.
• Your nipples might feel raw, cracked, or sore.
• You might worry about your milk supply.
• You might dread feeding sessions that everyone else calls “beautiful bonding moments.”

That doesn’t make you a bad parent. You’re only human.

Why Breastfeeding Can Feel So Hard

Even when you’re doing everything “right,” breastfeeding can still be hard. Here are a few reasons why:

• Positioning and latch issues: Sometimes babies just struggle to latch, especially if there’s tension, tongue tie, or birth trauma.
• Pain or nipple damage: Feeling sore can mean something is off with the latch or positioning, but it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you.
• Overwhelm and exhaustion: Cluster feeding, nighttime sessions, and the mental load can drain even the most prepared parent.
• Pressure and guilt: Society loves to tell parents to breastfeed, but offers little support when it’s tough.

On top of all that, you’re dealing with hormonal shifts and recovery from birth. It’s no wonder so many parents struggle.

You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

Here’s the truth we want everyone to hear: asking for help is normal and smart.

Lactation consultants (IBCLCs), postpartum doulas, and craniosacral therapists can make a huge difference. Sometimes, a small tweak in position, a weighted feed, or learning to use a nipple shield can turn it all around.

You deserve a team that supports you, not just the feeding goal. Your well-being matters just as much as your baby’s nutrition.

When Breastfeeding Isn’t Working

It’s okay to be honest and admit that sometimes, breastfeeding doesn’t work out the way you hoped.

Choosing to supplement, exclusively pump, or switch to formula doesn’t erase your effort or your love.

What makes you a good parent isn’t how you feed your baby. It’s that you care enough to make sure they’re fed and you’re both okay.

How We Help as Doulas

Postpartum doulas do more than just take care of newborns. We’re the shoulder you lean on when feeding feels exhausting.

We can:

• Help you set up comfortable feeding spaces
• Support you through long nights and endless questions
• Connect you with trusted lactation resources
• Remind you that your needs matter

Whether you’re exclusively breastfeeding, combo feeding, or still figuring it out, you don’t have to do it alone. Reach out any time to talk about your needs and get the guidance you deserve.

If breastfeeding feels harder than you expected, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. You’re learning something new in one of the most vulnerable seasons of your life. Take a deep breath. Grab a snack. Ask for help. You and your baby are finding your rhythm, one feed at a time.

FAQ

What if breastfeeding hurts?
Pain is usually a sign that something is off. Reach out to an IBCLC or postpartum doula as soon as you can for support.

Can I still bond with my baby if I use formula or pump?
Absolutely! Feeding is just one of many ways you connect. Eye contact, skin-to-skin, and responsive care all build strong attachment.

How can I make breastfeeding more comfortable?
Use pillows for support, try laid-back nursing positions, and keep water and snacks nearby. Comfort helps your body relax and your milk flow more easily.