Compassionate Ways to Support Loved Ones Facing Infertility

The path to parenthood isn’t always straightforward. For many, it’s filled with moments of hope, heartache, and unwavering strength. Infertility can feel isolating, and some silently endure it without ever sharing their struggles. If someone you care about is facing this challenge, you might wonder how to support them in a meaningful way.

As postpartum doulas, we’ve supported many families who have walked the road of infertility before becoming parents. Their stories remind us that infertility isn’t just about the longing for a child—it’s an emotional journey that can touch every aspect of life. Offering compassionate support doesn’t mean having all the answers; it’s about showing up in a way that says, “I see you, I care, and you are not alone.”

How to Offer Meaningful Support

Listen Without Trying to Fix It

One of the most powerful ways to support someone facing infertility is simply to listen. They don’t need solutions, advice, or comparisons—they need validation and understanding.

Instead of offering fixes, try saying:

• “I can’t imagine how hard this must be, but I’m here for you.”
• “Thank you for trusting me with how you’re feeling. I’m here whenever you need to talk.”

Avoid phrases such as:

• "Just relax—it’ll happen!"
• "Have you thought about trying [unsolicited advice]?"

Creating a safe space for them to share their emotions without fear of judgment can make all the difference.

Respect Their Boundaries

Infertility is deeply personal, and not everyone wants to talk about it. Let them take the lead. If they prefer not to share details, honor that choice while reminding them they’re not alone.

If they hesitate to attend events like baby showers or family gatherings, don’t take it personally. Instead, show understanding: "I completely understand if this is hard for you right now. No pressure at all, but I’m always here if you need me."

Offer Small, Practical Acts of Kindness

Infertility can feel all-consuming, making daily life even more exhausting. Small, thoughtful gestures can provide comfort and remind them they are supported.

Consider:

• Dropping off a meal or coffee when they’re having a tough day.
• Sending a simple “Thinking of you” text.
• Offering to run an errand or take something off their plate.
• Gifting something comforting, like a soft blanket or self-care item.

Even the smallest actions can provide warmth during a difficult time.

Be Mindful of Life’s Milestones

Holidays, pregnancy announcements, and baby showers can be particularly tough for someone facing infertility. If you’re sharing your own pregnancy or family news, approach it with sensitivity.

Consider telling them privately before a public announcement and acknowledging that it may be a lot to process. A simple message like, “I know this might be hard to hear, and I want you to know I’m thinking of you,” can show that you care without diminishing their experience.

Share Resources Without Pressure

Salt Lake City and surrounding areas offer many maternal mental health resources and infertility support groups. If they’re open to it, gently share information:

• “I came across this support group and thought it might be helpful. Let me know if you’d like more info.”
• “If you ever want to talk to someone, I’d be happy to help find a professional who specializes in infertility support.”

Sometimes, just knowing resources exist can be a source of comfort, even if they’re not ready to take that step yet.

Why Your Support Matters

Infertility is not just a medical condition—it’s an emotional and physical journey that can feel overwhelming and isolating. By offering your understanding, kindness, and presence, you remind your loved one that they don’t have to walk this path alone.

You don’t have to have the perfect words or know exactly what to do. Just showing up with compassion and respect makes all the difference.

You’re Not Alone—We’re Here to Help

At Bountiful Doulas, we’ve had the privilege of supporting families who’ve experienced infertility. As postpartum doulas, we understand the importance of a strong support system and the role that emotional and physical care play in the healing process.

If you or someone you love is navigating infertility or loss, we’re here to help. Whether it’s connecting with mental health resources, offering postpartum support, or simply being a listening ear, you don’t have to navigate this alone. Reach out today to learn more about how we can support you. Your journey matters, and we’re here for you every step of the way.

FAQs About Supporting Loved Ones Through Infertility

Q: What should I say to someone struggling with infertility?

A: The best approach is to listen and validate their feelings. Instead of offering solutions, say, “I’m here for you, no matter what.”

Q: How do I tell a friend facing infertility that I’m pregnant?

A: Share the news privately and with sensitivity. Acknowledge that it may be difficult for them and let them process it in their own way.

Q: What if I don’t know what to say, but I want to be supportive?

A: That’s okay! A simple, “I’m thinking of you,” or “I care about you,” can mean a lot. Presence is often more powerful than words.

Q: Are there infertility support groups in Salt Lake City?

A: Yes! Many local and virtual support groups exist, including those through Postpartum Support International and Resolve: The National Infertility Association.

Q: How can a postpartum doula support someone who has experienced infertility?

A: A postpartum doula provides emotional support, practical care, and resources to help families navigate the transition to parenthood after infertility.

Since this post was written, we’ve expanded into Utah Postpartum Care, continuing the work we started as Bountiful Doulas to support even more families with postpartum care.